Writers have to deal with a lot of rejection. Even those of us with tough hides experience moments of doubt. The worst is when you get a triple whammy: your article was killed; you got a surprise bill; and your dude told you he wants to see other people. Times like these try our resolve, but that’s life, right? Oh, if only it were so easy to go Zen. When life seems to have given me a special seat at my own private shit show, some of the strategies below help me cope. Basically, they all boil down to one thing: treating yourself as you would a beloved 7 year old kid who’s had a tough day.
- Take the day off. Everyone needs a mental health day, the thing is few people have the fortitude to take one when they’re under the gun. But if you’re stressed, your work suffers anyway. If you really can’t take the whole day off, give yourself a couple of hours. Even 20 minutes works, just as long as you let go. Don’t deal with whatever is bothering you until you feel strong. (Provided it’s not an emergency.) This is the adult equivalent of time-out. Why? Because you’re feeling tantrumy, admit it.
- Go to the movies. AMC offers half price tickets before noon. And, no, there’s nothing wrong with going to the movies by yourself. The types of theater in which that was questionable have been made obsolete by online porn.
- Have a cookie. Yes, you can buy one, but there’s nothing quite as comforting as baking cookies from scratch. And if you’re worried that you’ll binge if you bake a whole batch, here’s a great recipe for just 2 chocolate chip cookies.
- Pitch a fit. Just make sure you do it alone, behind closed doors, and for a set period of time. Cry. Kick the floor. Get a punching bag. Go for a run and scream.
- Write a nasty letter to whoever set you off. Go ahead, tell the fucker off. Get it off your chest. I recommend writing it longhand, though, so there’s no danger of hitting the SEND button and regretting things later. Then put it away.
- Listen to music and sing along. I wish I could play an instrument. I have a feeling that would be so much more cathartic, but since I don’t, I just have myself a pity party in which I’m the torch singer. Embarrassing, I know. But oh so satisfying. Well, except for the neighbors.
- Take a bath.
- Get a massage.
- Buy yourself a little something.
- Pour your heart out to a good friend. (Make sure it’s the kind of friend who doesn’t mind listening without giving advice. Sometimes you don’t want to know what to do, you just want to vent. So choose well.)
- Go to a 12 step meeting. Listening to others’ troubles and talking about your own without judgment can spell relief and put things in perspective.
- Rant at God. In my experience, when things go wrong no one’s an atheist, but even if you’re not a believer, you can get angry at the Universe.
- Make a list of everything that does work in your life. (Yes, it’s not 12, it’s more like a baker’s dozen.) Ever notice that in the middle of a tantrum, we all see things in black and white? All of a sudden, EVERYTHING’S awful, nothing ever works, life is a bowl of crap. Yes, there are times when 98% of your life is in the crapper, but that still leaves 2% that’s not so bad. Going completely negative never got anyone back on their feet, anyway. Now that you’ve indulged your inner brat, hold on to what IS working. Or you’ll be too discouraged to go on.