World Wars, impotence, paralysis, the 1918 Flu epidemic, eclampsia, sexual harassment. Boy! If ever folks needed a vacay, it’s the Crawleys. And that’s just what they’re finally doing in this episode. Instead of Club Med or the South of Spain, though, they’re going to Scotland! Because nothing says “RELAX” quite like offal and organ meat, ill-tempered natives, and tempestuous weather.
Goodness, so much happened in this episode that it felt like War & Peace, except with a real live jazz band tucked in it. The omission of the latter has been universally acknowledged as that masterpiece’s greatest failing. So let’s get started, shall we?
We open with some dude in a bowler hat, getting out of jail! No, it’s not Charlie Chaplin. No, it’s not the little guy from the Monopoly board game. Why, it’s Bates, you silly cows! And who should be waiting for him but Anna? “Thank God,” she exclaims. Yes, thank God that dull plotline is over and done with.
That’s right. We all know you secretly watch a certain British period soap while pretending to watch more manly fare like Homeland, or Justified. It’s okay, dude. Seriously. We are all dying to know what colors Mary chose for her wedding and whether Edith is finally going to meet a nice boy and settle down. And who doesn’t have an inner diva who takes notes on the Dowager Countess’ perfect putdowns? Well, lucky you, cuz I’m recapping Downton Abbey for Basket of Kisses again. Get your snark on, peeps!